That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
