i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So squirting runs in the family.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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