Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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