the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
