I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize