in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize