there's paper in my vomit.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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