I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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