the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
