i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
