There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
