you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
