I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
