3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
