I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
