Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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