So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
