It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
