The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wish I could teleport
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
