Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
