Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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