The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
