Already got asked if we're dating
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
