Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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