wat bout pragnant strippers??
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
