My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
