this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
tequila makes me forget i have legs
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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