i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
