I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
The maid of honor just puked.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
