oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
