I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
