You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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