I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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