Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
