your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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