allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
