oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think I am morally bankrupt
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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