**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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