your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
