I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize