dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
