i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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