similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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