Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
