like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
