everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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