i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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