I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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