I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
