i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize