Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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