:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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