Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
