I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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