i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
