Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
