Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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