State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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