You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
