He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
