i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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