she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
