I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
