I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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