This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
