"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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