It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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